>Hell, thy name is 2WW

>It is only 4 days past my transfer, and already I have…

*poked my boobies 54 times to see if they hurt.  They don’t.  And if they start to, it is because I keep poking them.

*checked the toilet paper 63 times.  For what?  I am not sure.

*made my husband go to the dollar store and clean them out of HPT’s.

*peed onto some sticks. 

*peed into an old jelly jar to do the dropper kind of test.

*given an old jelly jar permanent residence on the floor behind the toilet.

*thought about what the cleaning lady would think about the old jelly jar on the floor behind the toilet.

*stalked infertility message boards, trying to see the earliest someone got a positive HPT.

*pressed on my uterus to see if it feels “different”.

*worried that pressing on my uterus made the embryo fall out. (yes, I know it can’t fall out, but I am crazy right now).

*paused after every bite of every meal to see if maybe I feel nauseous.

*analyzed ever twinge, burp, and fart.

*googled HPT facts.

*read back about the 2WW with Nate, to see if anything matched up.

*worried everytime I poo that I am pooing out the embryo.

*same thing when I pee.

*mooned over baby pictures of Nate.

*grumbled, because I need a martini, but I can’t, in case it worked, but it fucking didn’t, so I DESERVE a martini, but I can’t, in case it worked.

*lifted my shirt every time I pass a mirror, to see if there are weird veins on my boobies.

*cried.

*gotten a migraine.

*wondered if the migraine meant I was pregnant.

*worried that the migraine made my embryo fall out.

*suffered through the migraine with no meds, in case it worked.

*slept with ice bags on my head.

*looked at pictures of HPT’s at peeonastick.com.

*marveled that a site called peeonastick.com exists.

*googled FET stats.

*googled success stories.

*googled horror stories.

*banned myself from google.

*weaned down my caffeine intake.

*been stabbed with PIO shots.

*wondered if being stabbed with PIO shots was even necessary.

*lit candles.

*rubbed good luck charms.

*prayed.

*meditated.

*lifted Nate into his carseat, then worried that lifting so much weight made the embryo fall out.

*analyzed the tight feeling in my uterus, then realize my pants are too tight.

*walked around with my pants unbuttoned.

*looked at myself sideways in the mirror to see if I have a baby bump making my pants too tight.

*realized it is a food baby.

*peeked into the bag of maternity clothes, then run away.

*driven my husband bat shit crazy, asking every 3 minutes “do you think it worked?”

*driven my husband even more bat shit crazy by stating every 14 minutes “I KNOW THIS DIDN’T FUCKING WORK AND NOW WE HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN, FUUUUUUUCK!”

*placed bets with my Mother that it did not work. (she thinks it did).

*stared at the picture of the embryo.  A lot.

*generally went FREAKIN’ BONKER CRAZYTOWN COO COO ROUND THE BEND INSAAAAAAAAAANE!

nicholson Pictures, Images and Photos

Sigh.

____

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7 Responses to “>Hell, thy name is 2WW”


  1. 1 brunettebeachgirl September 14, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    >haha! Only infertiles know the true crazies of the TWW. : ) I have been there many, many, many times. I molested by boobs so much I should have been arrested. lol. Good luck!!!!Amanda

  2. 2 athena September 14, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    >aww!! hang in there!! sending sticky vibes! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. 3 Crossed Fingers September 14, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    >haha – ahh…the 2ww – how I DON'T miss it. I hope it did work and your embaby didn't fall out in any of those instances. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. 4 Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy) September 14, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    >I'm sorry for LOLing … this was hilarious and absolutely so true. There is NOTHING more nervewracking and craziness-making than the 2WW from hell. Hang in there …

  5. 5 Heather September 14, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    >My gift to you: http://www.andkon.com/arcade/Go and kill time. Seriously.Thinking of you.(My 2WW I go around sniffing like a fucking dog to see if my sense of smell was stronger or will make me feel sick…)

  6. 6 Ariel September 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    >I pee on a couple sticks a day when I'm in the 2ww…My husband says it'll bankrupt us, but I can't help it.I'm sending sticky vibes your way!

  7. 7 heartincharge September 15, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    >Oh this is perfect and completely accurate!My favorite is when you analyzed the tight feeling and realized that your pants were too tight. I have analyzed the tight feeling and realized that I had to do #2. Quite a letdown.


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