>What Have I Gotten Myself Into


BlogHer 2010.
I am going.
I am stressed.
Why am I doing this?
What was I thinking?  I have social anxiety, I am not good at meeting new people.  I am shy and self conscious, and I always feel like I have something in my teeth or a booger.
I know THREE other people going.  People I talk to regularly, but on the internet.  I can be funny and charming on the internet.  No one can see nervous hives over the internet.  I can think of good things to SAY on the internet, because I have time to craft my words. 
In person?  I am usually awkward and mute.
And I am pretty sure there are WAY more people than my THREE going. And I am going to have to MEET THEM, and TALK.  And I will probably have to enter events ALONE on many occasion…GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!  I can’t breathe.
I have some new clothes, all my costume jewelry, comfy shoes, cocktail party attire, clean underwear, and an umbrella.
I have business cards.
  That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.  Business cards for a blog six people read – (including my Mom).  Business cards??  *snort* But I have them. 
I am exfoliated and shaved and plucked and primped, my teeth are a little whiter, and by tomorrow night I will have a fresh coat of spray tan. 
I tried to get a fresh hairstyle, but instead I got a mousy shit brown – big time WHOOPS.  No offense to all the lovely brunettes in the world, but I love my blond hair and it is GONE.  Making me feel even worse about my chubby drab housewife status.  Now I am a chubby drab housewife with shit brown hair.
My hair is blond on my business cards.  That is dumb.
There have been many many posts flying around telling me to RELAX and that this is supposed to be FUN and that it won’t be a clique fest and STOP STRESSING, don’t WORRY!
Stress is my middle name, and Worry is my occupation.
Seriously, why am I doing this?
I hope I can manage to meet some new friends, and I hope maybe I will get a few more readers. NOT TOO MANY mind you, because I don’t want to feel the pressure of having to post witty and insightful blog updates.
Yes, I am a blog writer that doesn’t want to have too many people read my blog.
Which brings me back to the question….
Why am I doing this?
Oh yea, one more thing – I am LEAVING my BABYYYYYYYYYYY for FOUR whole DAYS, lord have mercy, I have never left him that long, and it is giving me GAS, and I need to remember to pack the Tums and some pictures of my BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY oh my god stress, vomit, eeeeeeeep, aaak, *cough*, gag, FART!
NYC Pictures, Images and Photos
NYC, here I come.  I don’t think yer ready for this…um…jelly?

6 Responses to “>What Have I Gotten Myself Into”

  1. 1 Heather August 3, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    >Good Lord, I love ya!!I have always always always wanted to go to BlogHer but this is EXACTLY why I have never gone…I hope you have a fantastic time. Everyone I have ever heard of going has had a great time so I'm sure you will too.Just breathe.

  2. 2 Crossed Fingers August 3, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    >haha – I love your blog! You'll do great and meet new friends. You'll come back and post "OMG I don't know why I was so stressed out, I had a blast, I have a million new BBF and watch out for the increase in blogger followers!!!"

  3. 3 Kelly August 3, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    >I'm sure you will have a fabulous time, make lots of friends and add to your readership exponentially!However, all of the things you state in this post are EXACTLY why I am not going, lol. I can barely manage to talk to people at church I've known for a long time, must less meet new people.Have fun! I can't wait to read about it!

  4. 4 Niksmom August 3, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    >Ok, first of all, I've met you in person and you are totally adorable and funny. Second, you are NOT alone in those feelings. I bet if you took a poll by simple show of hands at BlogHer, nearly half of the women there will admit to feeling the same way.I HATE that we are conditioned to judge ourselves and one another by our looks, our wit…all the surface stuff which leads us AWAY from being able to see how much we have in common.I'll be there to hold your hand, okay? And I promise you, you will have a blast and make new friends. Pinky swear. xo

  5. 5 MrsSpock August 4, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    >I am terribly shy in person, so much so that after 5 years in my neighborhood, I barely know my neighbors. I have only begun to learn their names this year because my not-so-shy son insists on running up to them and saying Hi!

  6. 6 edenland August 4, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    >I need you, baby. I NEED YOU BAAAAAD.Maybe we can cancel all prior engagements and just chill in our hotel room? Hey we can do whatever the hell we want, WE ARE THE BOSS OF OUR OWN SELVES.I have a pretty good idea that we will talk each other off our own respective anxiety ledges.Ummmmmm, ARGHHHHH ……,. keep alternating between excitement and terror. What's you rnumber? When do yo come – tomoz??Good luck saying bye to the boy ….. it's hard. I feel your pain.XOXOXOX

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