>It’s NOT a Toooomah

>Well.

I have a lot of crap going on in my life, like whoa. It must be my year. Do you think that – that every once in awhile, you just have a year jam packed with drama? And you just have to hunker down and get through it, and the next year will be drama free? Or is life just a drama fest, and I need to accept it.

Actually I already know the answer to that, because life has been kinda woo WOO crazy ever since I said I DO. Which was like 4 years ago.

Hey, maybe this is all my husbands fault, maybe he is a drama magnet.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

I don’t blog about half of my weirdness, not even a quarter of it – though blogs are supposed to be an outlet, but people would think I was a raging hypochondriac insane clown posse liar with Munchausen by Proxy syndrome and split personality disorder.

Who said that! Shut up Marge! What?

Side note: once I said to my pediatrician, “I am scared you think I have Munchausen by Proxy syndrome, because we are in here so often.” That is probably high on the list of things NOT to say to your pediatrician. I mean really. She giggled, but now I feel like she checks Nate over EXTRA thoroughly when we go in, and she might give me the stink eye when I see her at the Y. Whoops!

Anyhoo…

this is not even about Little Man, this is about me…

long story short….

I was having some pain, doc thought it might be my gall bladder, sent me for an ultrasound, mass on my liver, holy hell, most likely a hemangioma, but need to recheck, also have fatty liver, convinced I am dying, go to GI specialist, gi specialist decides I need MRI, ew, go for MRI in case it is a TOOMAH, MRI’s are not fun, but, it is NOT a TOOMAH, I am going to live, might need to cut back on the nutella, but it is ok for me to get pregnant again, we don’t have to delay our frozen cycle, and I am not knocking on the doorway to the heavens, the end.

I gotta tell you though, that was a little nerve wracking.

I would like to ask the Universe to please ease up on me for a few weeks because I am developing an eye twitch.

Man I do not like MRI’s. I was in that hunk of metal for close to an hour, I had an IV in to shoot contrast dye through me, my arm was squeeshed in an odd position and KILLING me, my nose was about an inch from the top of the thing, like being a giant human burrito, claustraphoooooobia…I had headphones on so I could listen to music, but I made the mistake of choosing Michael Jackson, but MJ makes me want to shake my booty, only you can’t shake your booty while you are getting an MRI, you have to hold perfectly still, and then the nurse comes on the headphones and tells you to hold your breath and you hold your breath and it feels like forever, and you think, she forgot about me, oh god she forgot about me, help help, I have to breathe I have to BREATHE and she finally comes back on and says BREATHE and you are like FINALLY YOU SNATCHBURGER WHOOOOOOOOSHhhhhh but you don’t have time to really curse her because you have to catch your breath quickly so you can hold your breath again 2 minutes later and they repeat this like 20 times, so by the time they slid me out of the thing I was all woozy and sweaty and shaky and and and…

PHEW.

Its Not a TOOMAH Pictures, Images and Photos

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10 Responses to “>It’s NOT a Toooomah”


  1. 1 athena July 3, 2010 at 7:37 am

    >Ohhhh you poor thing!! But hooray for no tumor!!! And i totally feel the same way about MJ

  2. 2 Heather July 3, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    >Did you say cut back on nutella? Is this Nazi-Fucking-Germany? HELL NO! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT cut back on the nutella. We need to start a movement to get them to put that shit in a squeeze bottle…that could be the missing link to world peace my friend.I would throw up if I had to do that for 20 minutes! Glad it is not a tooooomah!

  3. 3 MrsSpock July 3, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    >Holy crap! Good thing it's no toomah! The MRI of my brain freaked me out. We were looking for a tooomah at the time too, so it was hard not to imagine what sitting in a coffin felt like. Yep, I imagine it kind of feels like sitting in an MRI cave.

  4. 4 Niksmom July 3, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    >WHEW! Yeah, a tip in case you need to do another MRI…skip the MJ; choose Yanni. ZZZZZZZZZ…

  5. 5 Beautiful Mess July 6, 2010 at 5:55 am

    >Oh man! That does not sound pleasant at all! I'm so glad all is well! I'm with Heather, cutting back on Nutella is NOT an option!*HUGS*

  6. 6 Crossed Fingers July 6, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    >Ack – I would have been so light headed after that. Glad it's not a tooomah too. If I ever get an MRI I'll make sure to get some classical music. 😉

  7. 7 Photogrl July 7, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    >Oh my…I give you huge kudos! What a nightmare.NO way that I could have survived that MRI experience!Super happy to hear it's not a toomah!

  8. 8 Elly Lou July 11, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    >MJ makes me want to dance, shout, and shake my body down to the ground. Contrast dye sucks balls. Big gross ones covered with ingrown hairs.

  9. 9 Kimberly July 21, 2010 at 3:05 am

    >I'm SO glad you're back to posting. You make me laugh out loud almost every time I read your blog. 🙂

  10. 10 Kimberly July 21, 2010 at 3:06 am

    >I'm SO glad you're back to posting. You make me laugh out loud almost every time I read your blog. 🙂


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