>I think my head might explode

>My Dad is still in the process of dying, probably any day – but life has to move on, so today we went to the doctor…THE doctor, the RE…to see about having a 2nd baby and Nate was a holy freakin’ terror the entire time, cause we didn’t think ahead to get a babysitter, so we brought him and it was tantrum city and probably the best deterrent for anyone in the office who might have been having 2nd thoughts about having a baby, ’cause man he was a crankpot and screeching and crying and hurling himself on the ground and splotchy and a major 2 year old and the Dr. told me some stuff I hadn’t even thought of, like having a c-section could have wonkified my uterus so we might not be able to DO a transfer, so I have to have a bunch of tests, cause nothing can just be easy and even though we have plenty of embryos there is still no guarantee and maybe I shouldn’t even try ’cause MAN this 2 year old stage is tiring… and
and
and
I have to quit nursing like NOW because they can’t do the proper tests if my hormones are still goofy from nursing so WHAM today is the last day we will nurse and how the hell am I gonna get this kid to sleep now and oh my, this is sad, no more nursing cuddles and nursing cuddles are really helpful when your Dad is on his deathbed…but
but
but
I am not getting any younger so if we are gonna do this we have to just jump in and do this, but at this exact minute I am not so thrilled about having another baby with my idiot husband who keeps making snarky comments about how much this is gonna cost, which makes me feel like crap about my faulty body and maybe I should just scrap the whole thing but I don’t want Nate to be an only child
and all this stress
stress
stress
is really bad for me.
No sleep. Can hardly eat. Well that part is good, because I am losing weight, but who cares cause I am about to attempt to get fat all over again,
and man my brain hurts.

the end.

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5 Responses to “>I think my head might explode”


  1. 1 Niksmom May 11, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    >Sending love and positive thoughts ALL THE WAY AROUND! Been through the fertility part and the comments about cost and that kind of shit. UGH.Wishing you substitute nuring snuggles. xo

  2. 2 Ariel May 11, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    >Deep breaths lovey!A second baby will cost more. In EVERY respect:) Yes. and will be COMPLETELY WORTH IT:)You have a lot on your plate right now and it's okay to be stressed!HUGS!

  3. 3 MrsSpock May 13, 2010 at 12:26 am

    >Hmmm…I had a c-section too. That IS disconcerting. What exactly does it do to the ute?And that IS an awful like of crap on your plate. Hugs to you!

  4. 4 Photogrl May 13, 2010 at 12:28 am

    >It won't explode, I promise!So much to think about and deal with for you…Keeping you close in my thoughts.((HUGS))

  5. 5 Photogrl May 13, 2010 at 12:31 am

    >Oh, and I had a c-section with Miss O…didn't have any problems with my uterus afterwards. My RE never even mentioned it possibly being an issue when we started treatment for #2.I hope you don't have any problems, either.


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