>i have bad news.
not sure why i am sharing it here.
maybe to just explain why I never blog.
and maybe just to hear some kind words, cause I need them.

my Daddy is dying.

not from any tragic disease.
just from simple old age.
he is 90.
he got an infection in his legs from diabetes.
then while he was in the hospital they figured out he needed a pacemaker.
so he had to have surgery.
then he got new false teeth that hurt him
and he had to move to the skilled nursing unit of his assisted living place – so no longer has his own room, or computer, or personal things.
perfect storm – i think he is giving up.
he has stopped eating.
lost drastic weight.
today he is back in the hospital because of dehydration.
i am not sure how long he has – there is no way to know for sure i guess.
he looks like hell, and has started telling us all how much he loves us.
it is pretty obvious that the process of him leaving has started.

my dad is a wonderful dad.
he has always been there for me, supported me, provided for me, and loved me. sometimes he was a giant pain in my ass. but most of the time he was just always there, strength in the background – cheering me on. giving me money when I was dumb and bounced a check. always interested in what was happening in my life. little things that add up to a lifetime of good Daddyness.
not everyone is lucky to have a Dad like that.
Nate has my Dad’s name as his middle name. Frederick.
I am so glad my Dad got to be here to meet Nate.
i am so very sad.
my Dad wont be here to meet any children I might have in the future. my Dad wont be here anymore.

i am grateful I had him in my life for as long as I did, and I am grateful he lived a long and happy life, and I am grateful I had such a good Dad.
I wish I would have made more time to visit him more, but isn’t that always the way?

It sucks to watch your parents get old.


6 Responses to “>owie”

  1. 1 Ariel April 21, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    >I'm so so sorry!I have no wisdom to send you, only hugs.

  2. 2 Heather April 21, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    >Because this community is here to support each other…we truly care.I'm so sorry you are going through this. He sounds like an amazing man and father.Thinking of you and yours.

  3. 3 Niksmom April 22, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    >Oh man, Kate, I'm so sorry about your dad. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. My dad's 79 in May, a lung cancer survivor, etc…but definitely slowing down and I think about this a lot. Sending hugs and pryares for strength your way.

  4. 4 Photogrl April 23, 2010 at 1:42 am

    >It is so hard to watch a parent slip away…I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.Holding you, your family and your father in my thoughts & prayers.((HUGS))

  5. 5 Beautiful Mess April 25, 2010 at 12:28 am

    >Oh sweetie, I am SO sorry! It is very painful to lose a parent. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you so much love and peace.*HUGS*

  6. 6 Flmomi April 27, 2010 at 3:42 am

    >no knowledge to share other than it bites, hard. hugs and thoughts to your way to help a little

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