>&^%$# (*&^%$ IDIOT FATHEAD

>Sometimes I &^%$# hate my husband.

There. I said it.

I am sure I am not alone here.

And I am not even PMSing. I swear.

He just irks the crap out of me sometimes.
Like today.
I could not get the kid to nap FOR THE LIFE OF ME. He just refused to go down. When the kid does not go down for a nap, he is a cranky grumpasaurus for the rest of the day, screaming, crying, crabby, unhappy. Its awful. Babies need naps. My baby needs at least 2 hours to recharge.

Well, after SUCKING ON MY NIPPLES FOR CLOSE TO AN HOUR, I finally FINALLY got the little bugaboo to fall asleep. MY NIPS ARE LIKE HAMBURGER.

45 minutes into the bliss…MY FATHEAD DUMBASS CLUTZBURGER OAF of a spouse comes into make himself lunch AND WAKES THE KID UP because he was too noisy.

Now look, I am not a complete insensitive lunatic – I know the man needs to eat…but couldn’t he wait a bit? Or couldn’t he have gone to the other fridge in the basement and gotten himself a snack to tide himself over. Stock your desk with some granola bars and SUCK IT UP. There have been 5 million instances where I have gone HUNGRY because I am TRAPPED under a SLEEPING CHILD. FIVE MILLLLIIIOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!! I SUCK IT UP BECAUSE I KNOW THE CHILD IS A MONSTER WITHOUT A NAP.

When I gave him the evil death eye glare, all he could say was, “well, I needed lunch, what do you want me to do?”

Well, you could BITE ME…that would be a start. And then you could GET A FLIPPING CLUE, that would be nice too. And lastly, oh yea, DISAPPEAR.

(I edited that last bit. I had said for him to DIE, and then DIE AGAIN – but then I decided that is too harsh and I don’t really want him to die, I just want him to take a leave of absence from my life. He can be healthy and all, just so he is the hell out of my face)

Don’t you think now THAT jackass should have to spend the rest of the afternoon dealing with the cranky tantrum throwing child instead of me? Cause I sure do.

So now you know.
SO many women tell me they are jealous because my husband works from home… so we can always be together and I get a break when I need one. And yea, it does have its advantages some days. Some days I count my blessings that I can get a rest, a nap, a breather, and its a very good thing.

But days like today?

IT’S NOT A GOOD THING. GO TO AN OFFICE AND LEAVE US ALONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

and now the darling angel is playing the counting song on his confounded toy piano over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and so help me I need a martini.

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8 Responses to “>&^%$# (*&^%$ IDIOT FATHEAD”


  1. 1 MamabearMills August 11, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    >I'm sending over a xanax right away! hahaha. i hate those moments…my son comes in to wake my daughter up all the time and he almost landed his ass in a foster home!

  2. 2 Ariel August 11, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    >I ADORE my husband. Worship the ground he walks on even. He's the best daddy a woman could ask for her child, and I'm lucky to have him, since he's here by choice- he's my daughters daddy but he didn't contribute any DNA (as my ex husband is fond of reminding our daughter(ex husband should be castrated) and like I said, I adore my husband.But yes. Some days… I'd like to feed him to the pigs.And I ADORE him!Feel better?

  3. 3 Beautiful Mess August 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    >I think you should leave the baby with the husband and come on over to Oregon. We'll have martinis and tell dirty jokes and bitch about husbands. That sounds like fun, doesn't it?Hope all goes well and you get your martini ;o)*HUGS*

  4. 4 Niksmom August 11, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    >Oh, sister, we must be married to the same clueless moron! I, too, ADORE my husband, but somedays…OMFG! He's been home for months now getting under foot and annoying the crap out of me. Imagine if I *didn't* adore him?Raising a glass in solidarity, my dear.

  5. 5 eden August 12, 2009 at 2:50 am

    >Sometimes, Dave just has to CHEW loud … and I want him to die. Then die harder.XOXOXX

  6. 6 MrsSpock August 13, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    >LOL. My husband is still unable to keep the idea that we could have a napping child in his head. He slams doors and stomps up the stairs- and I could kill him for it.

  7. 7 Amy August 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    >DEEP BREATH. no-I get it. I really do. Sometimes i just want to runrunrunrunrunrun away. It will get better. :o)

  8. 8 Tina August 28, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    >Meant to comment when I read this… My dh used to work from home and he drove me nuts! Either he woke ds or complained that we made too much noise. I was glad he got a job outside of the house, but closeby.I'm no help, but I understand.


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