>I Don’t Get It

>Here is what I don’t understand about “the blogging community”.

People put their entire lives out into the world electronically. They blog about EVERYTHING – sometimes multiple blogs for one person. And then they back that up with Twitter – Tweet Tweet Tweet – telling anyone that hits the Follow button about every mundane or not so mundane detail of their lives. All. Day. Long.
As icing on the cake, there’s even Facebook, the holy pinnacle of the overshare.

But then, then when someone dares to disagree with something they say or *gasp* says something mean about them….all holy hell breaks loose. They complain, they shudder, they are horrified…all of their “bloggy” friends and real life friends rush to their defense, they can’t sleep – oh the pain the PAIN – they are mortally wounded – the electronic world goes nutso – the tweets, the updates, the blog posts start swirling – accusations fly. Which of course creates even more fodder for the naysayers.

I just seriously do…not…get….it. Are people so naive to think that the world is this rosy colored place? Where everyone loves you and rainbows and marshmallows fly out of your butt and Skittles fall from the sky?

People can be mean. People do not always agree. Everyone has a right to their own opinion – ESPECIALLY on their own blogs. If you broadcast your entire life out to thousands of people, it is a DEFINITE that some of those people will not like you. Not a maybe…a DEFINITE.
If you can’t take it and it hurts you terribly when someone says something mean about you – here is an idea – turn off your electronic devices! Stop sharing so much with strangers! Go outside in the fresh air and play with your kids. Or dogs. Have coffee with a real live human being you care for. Open up your windows and take a bubble bath. Spend a week with no computer. Swim in a lake. Commune with nature. Get over yourself.

Yep. I said it.

Yes, I do have a blog, and yes, I do have a Twitter account, and yep – I also love me some Facebook. But I don’t actually share much of my self, strange as that sounds. Most of my deepest feelings are for my husband and family and very close friends. If someone wants to slam me, go for it. I will either delete you or show all my friends and laugh.

So yea – the internet world is very puzzling to me.

Hey, how is everyone? I haven’t blogged in awhile – been busy. Go figure. Here is a pic of my sweet delicious love bug, in case you forgot what he looks like.


For those who don’t know, this post was because of the Boobie Brouhaha that occurred over on Her Bad Mother’s blog. HBM graciously contacted me via e-mail. I think she is thoughtful, trying to be responsible, and she does encourage dissenting opinions, which is great. However, I am still having issues with how this whole mess went down.

I still hold firm on my opinions… (no, i would not let a stranger nurse my child, and yea, I think people should just ignore mean comments)…but I do feel the need to go a little further.

It is very bothersome to me that there is such NEGATIVE energy among women on the internet. Women are SO quick to judge, and SO quick to snap a mean caustic hurtful comment out, in a blog or in so called “defense” of their “friend” or their favorite popular blogger. Why? Why do people have to be so mean? One bloggers opinions were seen as shaming and mean, – but then those rushing to defend tweeted, commented and blogged in EQUALLY shaming and mean ways. Why does NO one seem to see the DYSFUNCTION and HYPOCRISY! It makes my head spin. These kinds of conflicts will continue unless everyone learns to be more respectful and GROWN UP and classy in their words. C’mon women, I KNOW you can do it! Make me proud!

Kindergarten lessons here my sweets – here we go…
Play Fair
Don’t hit people (we’ll change that to don’t attack people with words).
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
Hold hands.
Turn the other cheek.
Say you are sorry when you hurt someone.
Whatever mean things you do, bounce off me and stick to you (that’s a weird one,heh)
If your friend jumped off a bridge, does that mean you should too?
Revenge is actually not so sweet.
PLAY OUTSIDE – (yea, turn off your electronics and go hug a tree. You heard me)
And finally….
Goldfish (can you believe i said goldfish?) and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup–they all die. So do we. Think about how you want to be remembered.
WHOA. Deep.


15 Responses to “>I Don’t Get It”

  1. 1 Niksmom March 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    >OMG, he is getting even more deliciously yummy!Oh, and I totally agree with what you wrote. BRILLIANT! That being up all night thing does have a way of unlocking one’s creative juices, it seems. (At least, I do some of my best writing in seriously sleep deprived states. Much safer than trying to drive a car! LOL)

  2. 2 MJMILLS March 10, 2009 at 5:25 pm


  3. 3 Trenches of Mommyhood March 10, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    >Hi. I just wanted you to know that I read your comments on Catherine’s website and I agree with you wholeheartedly.All this is what turns me off from Twitter and “mommyblogging”. The high school antics. The pack mentality. The “mean girls”.I happen to be one of the Fishful Thinking moms and am very disturbed by what all this has turned into. It’s tarnishing the entire message. And that’s sad.

  4. 4 MJMILLS March 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    >I’m over the HS antics like Trenches said. I spoke my mind on both blogs and boy did HERBADMOTHER’s posse go wild. I didnt even mean for my comments to sound like they do i guess. Oh well, I disagree with breastfeeding IN PUBLIC…not in private…or breatfeeding anothers child. I didnt say I disagree if there was a desperate time for it etc. People take things way out of context. And like you, If “something” happened and I needed milk for my child, of course I wouldnt let her go without! Just my feelings! Ya know?!

  5. 5 Ariel March 10, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    >Just wanted to say your remarks were thoughtful and polite when disagreeing with the majority over on HBM. That cannot have been easy. I’d have been interested to read the original post that set it all off- I don’t even know who it was.All I can say is bravo to you for having a differing opinion and expressing well 🙂

  6. 6 verybadcat March 10, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    >You could just as easily ask why people would use their blogs to criticize another blogger. I can’t speak to the original post that started this mess, *even though* the author swears she’s going to republish. You may be against oversharing, and I’m certainly guilty of that on my own blog.I’m against the use of blogs for petty looking-down-your-nose at other bloggers. Does she not have enough fodder in her own life for her blog?All that said, I complete agree that the hoopla is over the top. We chickies have problems with the whole disagreeing respectfully, it seems. I thought you did a good job in the comments over at HBM. I think you’re wrong, but well presented. 😉

  7. 7 mythoughtsonthat March 10, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    >I have no problem with the breastfeeding issue, what happened was fine with me. But I do so agree with you on how you can’t really disagree respectfully with anyone on their blog. You will get disregarded in a second and that does not seem fair. Good post. And your boy is cute.

  8. 8 C Lo March 10, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    >I love you. Just sayin.

  9. 9 C Lo March 10, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    >And I want to add…I don’t think it is at all that people are truly shocked when they get a rise out of someone else. I think that certain people just know they can say whatever they want because if they start something, they will have a hundred and twenty people getting their back, so they take liberties with that.

  10. 10 Bananas March 10, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    >Had to stop by and applaud you for being brave enough to publicly disagree with the masses. I don’t have a problem with breast feeding in any permutation, but I do have a problem with the scary pack mentality that happens every time one of the a-listers gets her feelings hurt.

  11. 11 Topcat March 11, 2009 at 11:18 am

    >I LOVE YOU for writing this post. And I have NO idea what prompted you to write it … but today, someone left the meanest comment on my blog. A drive-by. Very caustic, personal, and designed to make me paranoid. I deleted it immediately, but thought, ARGH. What the hell!?Then I read what you wrote … of course not everybody will like me. Duh! And I do blog very openly.So, anyway. Just saying thank you … I needed to read that.How is your Boom Boom room?Your boy = DIVINARAMO.That is all.xoxoxoxx

  12. 12 Mom101 March 12, 2009 at 2:27 am

    >I thought your comments at HBM were terrific. You really stood out as being respectful while staunchly disagreeing. So rock on with that, mama. But I disagree here that if someone is being mean you should always just walk away and tune it out. Sometimes, sure. That’s the best course. But sometimes, it’s good to call people on cruelty (or hatred or racism or bigotry or whatever) and hold them accountable for the consequence of their words and actions.My “right to say what I want” is not necessarily more important than the respect that members of my community deserve. In any case it’s nice to meet you. Even under totally lame circumstances.

  13. 13 momranoutscreaming March 12, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    >exactly the thoughts that were going through my head the last few days. “Why can’t we all just get along?” I hated high school and have no intention of reliving it no matter what my opinion on the subject at hand. Respect your fellow man. or woman. It was a great topic that somehow got tainted

  14. 14 Cheryl Lage March 15, 2009 at 3:53 am

    >What a fantastic post! As a firm believer in positive emerges from the most seemingly negative origins, I just discovered your blog via the extravaganza that happened via HBM and TDB’s discourse over this past week.Was at the symposium where the “event” occurred…Met HBM (loved her). Met TDB (loved her). Met Laura (loved her). All moms. All love their children. All committed to motherhood. That’s enough. Thank dear heaven I am just dipping a tentative toe into Twitterdom, but I see as you do, the icky argumentative aspect that is too easily facilitated via the medium. Hope springs eternal…and finding your blog…a silver lining! I’ll be back!

  15. 15 Ashley March 21, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    >I try my best to allow respectful disagreement on my blog and livejournal (and as I blog about homebirth, there’s A LOT of disagreement out there), but I have no tolerance for anonymous flaming. Unfortunately, few people are willing to sign their name to things when they disagree, which drives me nuts, and thus I’ve banned anonymous commenting. Not sure if there’s a better way to deal with that situation.

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