>Bleeepity Bleep Bleep Boop Bleeeeeeeeeeep

>Did you know there is a “sliding scale” when it comes cursing?

Meaning, certain curses fall on different points on the “naughty” scale…measuring their severity links into your chances of entrance or banishment into heaven I suppose.

This is my mother in law’s theory.

Hell, Damn and Crap are on the lower end of the scale. Or should I say H.E. double hockey sticks, Durn, and Carp. Naughty? Yes. Should be avoided? Of course. But eternal damnation for uttering them? Probably not. These should be used only when really REALLY steamed, I mean, good and mad, like when you burn a casserole, or you run out of Dippity Do.

Middle of the Scale curses would include the S word and …and….well, shit, I forget what else. Oooops!! Start over. The S word, and maybe the donkey one. And the female dog one too. Those are on the middle….very bad, should not be used, offensive, nice girls don’t utter them. But you still can probably get into heaven if you load up on the good works, you know… donate canned goods to the needy, attend church, and be nice to people and all that carp.

At the far end of the scale is the F bomb. If you dare to utter the F bomb, you are crass, uneducated, unladylike, and wanton. You might as well just jump in that handbasket and enjoy the ride. There is no excuse for the F bomb, no siree.

I asked my mother in-law if there was anything worse than the F bomb, and she said “no, no, I don’t think so, that’s the worst one”.

I couldn’t resist.

I said “well what about the C word?” And my husband said…”yea, and don’t forget the P word!!!” and her poor head nearly spun right off.

Yea, hot D, we F’ers are S.O.L, headed straight to H.E. double hockey sticks, Holy Carp we are doomed, son of a B…C….B…P P….F …i feel like an A, hoooooo boy!

Actually, I really really am trying to clean up my potty mouth. I know its not polite, and I know I don’t want my child picking up my bad habit. But I seriously don’t know how to stop! When I get mad, F bombs just roll off my tongue. And well….lets be honest, nothing else is quite as SATISFYING, you know? I have tried to substitute. Like ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA I am so flippity flopping MAD. But it just doesn’t work the same as a nice salty F bomb.

Anyone have any suggestions? My mother-in-law would probably pay you if you can break my cursing habit. Cold hard F’in cash.

Angel or Devil??? Pictures, Images and Photos


5 Responses to “>Bleeepity Bleep Bleep Boop Bleeeeeeeeeeep”

  1. 1 Average Girl In Average World November 10, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    >My hubby and I are both trying not to cuss in front of the kids. It’s hard though. Cussing is an expression of emotion and we need to learn a new outlet. IT’S JUST SO FUCKING HARD!

  2. 2 Beautiful Mess November 10, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    >I’ve tried to curb my foul language since i first heard my daughter throw down the F bomb..woopsies my bad. As bad as it sounded, it was still a little funny. Anyway, we do our best not to cuss in front of the children, but when we do slip we, our son reminds us “no bad words, remember?” How can I still cuss with THAT load of mother guilt on my shoulders?! It isn’t easy, but try your best!Enjoy your day,-D

  3. 3 Kimberly November 10, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    >I love the F word. It’s my favorite. My husband and I are definitely trying to cut back on the cussing before Ila starts talking… otherwise, it will be bad news…

  4. 4 Topcat November 11, 2008 at 11:47 am

    >Ok. How about “fuckoodnessake”. Heh.Or, freak. Or, fo’ shizzle my wizzle. Fernickety.Or, you could do what I did … give up trying not to swear in front of you kids, and just tell them that adults swear but kids can’t.Mother of the Year!!!XOXOXOX

  5. 5 KandiB November 24, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    >Holy shite that’s funny stuff. LOVE it! I have no ideas on how to cut down…I took my niece to the movies a few years back. We were watching the previews and she yells, “That Damn Cat! I wanna see That Damn Cat!” Ugh. At least I can blame it on my sister 🙂 ICLW

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