>4:45 am is early

>Yep, here I am awake at stinkin’ 4:45. But even better, I have BEEN awake since 3:08. THREE OH EIGHT.

This motherhood shit is no joke.

We are trying to work on Boo-man’s sleep patterns…using the Ferber method. I have decided Dr. Ferber is an evil man. His method involves letting my poor pumpkin cry, but going into his room in timed increments to soothe him. I hate it. I loathe it. I detest it. I sweat, I cry, I writhe, I rock back and forth in the fetal position. But I am desperate to get better sleep. Dr. Meanie suggests letting him cry 5 minutes, then 10, then 15 15 15 15 until he falls asleep. That is just too long for me, so I decided to do one 1 minute, then 2, then 3, then 4 4 4 4…til he drifts off to peaceful slumberland. YEA RIGHT. By the 4 minute mark I feel like vomiting, seriously. How do people let their babies cry unattended for an hour? Boggles the mind. Every time I go into soothe him, he stops crying right away, but as soon as I pick my hand up off him and take one step away from the crib, all hell breaks loose again, and the timer restarts. Excellent fun. Should be a party game.

Bedtime took about 27 minutes total of crying (me AND him) before he fell asleep. He was asleep by 8. At around 10 pm he woke up crying, but all I had to do was go in and pat him and shh shh shhh him a bit and he fell back to sleep. So I thought to myself “Self, that wasn’t too bad, surely 27 minutes of crying spurts wont scar him for life, he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own, this is the right thing, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah yawn”.

Fast forward to 3:08 am. He starts crying…we begin the timed spurts…1 minute, 2, 3, then 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 freaking OVER AN HOUR LATER and he was still sobbing and I freakin’lost it…gave up, threw in the towel, quit, whipped out a boob faster than you can say lactation consultant. I just could not listen to my poor baby sob and choke and sputter and cry any longer. I probably ruined the whole thing, cause now he knows if he cries long enough, Captain Sucker over here will give in. But, I couldn’t help it…its like every atom of my being was screaming HELP YOUR BABY, plus my boobs were leaking like mad and the cats were starting to howl. Boo man latched on and drank for about 20 minutes, then gave me the hugest happy sleepy grin. Which made me feel like the worst momma EVER, cause such a small thing made him so happy, and I denied him for over an hour, then gave in, which is probably so confusing to him. Then he went back to sleep and so did my husband and here I am still awake and babbling like a hot fool.

And the best part is I cannot find anywhere in Dr. Butthead’s book that tells me HOW LONG to allow the torture to go on, which leads me to believe he thinks I should just let my child cry forever if that’s what it takes. In the middle of the night, when I am groggy and sleep deprived and sweaty and panicky, I NEED CONCRETE ANSWERS. I need someone to tell me EXACTLY what to do…and Dr. Horseface does not DO that. Do I let my breastfed baby who is used to feeding overnight whenever he wants and sleeping in our room just go cold turkey, alone and wanting, or is it ok to still feed him once or twice til he gets used to the idea? Should I sleep in there with him for awhile til he gets used to his room, or is that just setting another bad habit? Do I let him cry for hours (not happening) or what??? If I let him cry for an hour, then give in, is that just making everything worse? Should I not feed him til after a certain hour, so his little tummy gets used to eating at a certain later time, THEN start pushing that time back? Should I cosleep, even though I cant sleep with his little feet in my face? Should I just give up? Should I run away to Tahiti?

Not sure of any of the answers…but these sleep problems are certainly not helping my depression. I am tired, I feel like a crap mother, I smell, and my face is breaking out. Of course, now its 5:10, but I am so worked up I don’t think I can fall back to sleep.

Calgon, if you were ever going to take me away…now would be the time.


baby crying Pictures, Images and Photos


3 Responses to “>4:45 am is early”

  1. 1 Beautiful Mess November 9, 2008 at 7:48 am

    >It broke my heart every time I tried letting my kids cry themselves to sleep. I could never do it! There is no “right” answer here. You have to do what feels right to YOU. I know that’s not much advice, but know there are other moms out there who know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. You are not alone! Hang in there and I truly hope you find the “right” answer for you and your little guy.Sending you a huge hug!-D

  2. 2 Kimberly November 9, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    >I cannot tell you how many times my husband and I have discussed Crying It Out. I absolutely loathe the idea. We’ve done it once or twice, but we (or maybe I should just say, “I”) never keep it up. Ila will crying for longer than an hour with no hope of going to sleep anytime soon. When she hit an hour, I just gave in and picked her up. After trying several horrible things, we finally have just gotten into a routine of rocking her to sleep for about 5 minutes and laying her down when she’s really drowsy or already asleep. It works for the moment and that’s all I’m concerned about. Also, those times that she was in her crib sobbing, I was hiding on the floor beside the crib sobbing too. I sweat and feel panicked and can’t help but cry along with her. I really wish someone would have the perfect solution that didn’t involve you abadoning your baby to cry. It’s the most awful thing I’ve ever done and I’m hoping we find some magic solution that will work instead. I really don’t want to be rocking her to sleep when she’s 15…

  3. 3 mom2rebels November 10, 2008 at 3:18 am

    >((hugs)) I’m sorry you are having sleep troubles. Since I do not do cry it out at all, ever and since my two year old still doesn’t sleep, I’m probably not the best person to give advice. However, the first thing I’d do is toss Mr. Nice Doctor’s book and do what you need to do to get sleep for both of you. There is no right or wrong on this, it is a matter of figuring out what it will take to get to your goal…good sleep for both of you. I haven’t written a book and don’t claim my way is the magic answer, but I do have a method that worked with three out of five children…the other two, it didn’t work because with child number one I was too dumb to figure it out and kept trying everyone elses methods and child number five just doesn’t sleep because of his food issues. If you want details to at least consider drop me an email…my comment is already long enough or I’d post it here. email is mom.to.five@hotmail.com

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