>Dork Off ’08

>I cannot believe I am actually about to do this.

I am going to reveal, over the internet for the world to see, the absolute dorkiest pictures anyone has ever seen…EVER. And, they are of ME. I’ve only posted pictures of myself on this blog twice, and one of those was of the back of my head! Now I am about to reveal my most nerdtastic geekerama dork pie painful awkward former self. I must be nuts.

Its all for you Topcat! Oh you owe me, sister!

Presenting the Great Dork Off of 2008! A brilliant contest…you must check it out HERE at the Indisputable Topcat.

I could not resist entering, as I know I have a fair shot of taking top prize. I was a complete nerd growing up…I mean dork city, baby.
For the sake of comparison, lets see recent me:

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I’m the blond on the left. This was before I had a baby, so the bod was still firm, but my head looks the same. I still think I am a giant geek, but with highlights and better clothes. A raging dork, but kinda cute anyway.

Now, lets check me out in early times. My true contest entry will be the last two pics, cause those are just…oh my….wow……bad. Woof! But, I couldn’t resist posting a few more, cause I had so much fun going through the pictures at my Mom’s house.

Ok….here we are as a young dorky lass…whats with the tan old-man loafers?

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Next is me doing a JC Penney pose with some small fake flowers (why?) before some middle school dance. Marvel at the Holly Hobbie dress. There is a picture of me in my yearbook at this dance, and EVERYONE was wearing those lacy high necked monstrosities, so I was rockin’ the latest trends I guess? *gag*

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Here we have my attempt at a rad short sassy do. I failed.

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Oooo….PROM! Whoa! Those sleeves! Faaaaaabulous! And oh my…what lovely bushy hair I had! Yessssssssss…..

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Ok, PROOF POSITIVE that I was a DORK (I win, I win!!) I was in BAND!!!!!! Sadly, I wish I was still that skinny….

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Ok, now. Sit down folks. You are about to be blown away. The piece de resistance, the real contest entry, the cream of the crop….. its…. the….. 6th grade dance pictures. Oh God, I feel sick.

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Excuse my french, but why in the fuck did my mother let me out of the house looking so pathetic???????

The BOW???? OH MY GOD. The lace gloves? Lace gloves, people. The big flappy white collar. The elastic waist of the heinous blue dress. The sheer white nurse stockings. The white shoes. The bushy hair flip. It just never ends. I almost want to cry for this sad, sad saaaaad girl. It looks like a Halloween costume, doesn’t it? Some attempt at Donna Reed, or, or, or…June Cleaver! Or some horror movie 50’s housewife. But it was FOR REAL! Aaaaak! I look so happy though, don’t I? I guess I thought I was so purdy, all doodled up for my dance. Um, no I did not have a date…can you believe it? Shocking. Man, its painful to look at these pictures. When I found them in the box, my mother was like “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I forgot about THOSE!” Freakin’ suspicious… like she KNEW at the time I was a dork, but she did NOTHING to HELP me! She claims she was trying to let me have the freedom of self expression. Hmph, thanks a LOT.

So there you go. I let my dork flag fly. Feels good. Very freeing. Now, you go dig up some dork pictures and post them too….yea, go on, do it!! But hurry, the contest ends on Tuesday……

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6 Responses to “>Dork Off ’08”


  1. 1 Nobody You Know October 13, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    >Yep, that’s pretty bad. But hey…you’re darn cute now.

  2. 2 Watson October 13, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    >OMG those were hilarious! Mind you, I am laughing WITH you, not AT you.Thank you for sharing :-)And PS your son is adorable!

  3. 3 Kimberly October 13, 2008 at 10:18 pm

    >First of all, now that I have finally seen your actual face, all I have to say is… you are beautiful!!! I do believe you probably qualify as a MILF now. Yay!Second, I didn’t really think any of your pictures were THAT dorky until the big-bow-in-the-hair pictures. Good god! I would ask the same thing: why in the fuck did your mom let you out of the house in that?? Oh well… at least you can say it was a phase. And surely you weren’t the only girl dressing like that back then…

  4. 4 MrsSpock October 13, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    >LOL…that bow is priceless…

  5. 5 Topcat October 13, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    >Oh my sweetheart!!!!!!! You are so fantastic for posting those!!The truly evolved of us know that DORKS ARE ACTUALLY COOL. Thanks for giving me a smile today. XOXOXOX

  6. 6 Michelle October 21, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    >Not too bad. Well, all except that bow! LOL! Just another victim of the times. I empathize. Mine are no better.I enjoyed seeing them and visiting.ICLW


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