>Thoughts on Flab

>Ok, so …I am going to Tx in June…and there is talk of going to a pool…so I thought I’d better try on some bathing suits to see what I am working with.

Why did I do that?

There is good news…my maternity bathing suits are in fact too big for me now. But that is the only good news in a shit storm of bad news….-

None of my regular person bathing suits fit me.
-A bikini is out of the question.
-I am white like cooked chicken.
-My scar is an angry purple slash that doesnt quite get hidden the way I hoped it would.
-There is definite cellulite …DEFINITE…on my inner thighs especially. Suddenly I have old lady thighs. How do you get rid of this cottage cheesy mess?
-My butt is …less than firm.
-My boobs are freakin giant. I thought they were supposed to slowly go down as Boo Boo adjusted to bfing. But nope, they are like melons, hanging in those string grocery bags….saggy hanging chicken white boobies. Not cute.
-this tummy pooch has no signs of going anywhere.
-my underarms flap in the breeze.
-I have mantles. Or back fat if you prefer.
-I have squeeshy love handle thingies…especially prevelant when I attempt to sit or bend or do anything except stand stark still holding my breath turned slightly to the side.
So, if I want to be seen in a suit…I’ll have to pose myself standing stark still holding my breath turned slightly to the side, with some kind of scarf artfully draped over my disgusting post-birth body. Should make for some fun splashy times in the pool…oh yea.

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